22nd Nov 2014, 4:30 AM in The Rite of Serfdom

Bonfire and Clydesdale

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Bonfire and Clydesdale
[[Kel and the mudball faeries have reached the Dyrtforrabyggern's artificial stream and are settling down to clean themselves up in it. / Kel: Is that because of Sinn Fae raising a stink? / Spig: Oh no!
Spig: We just don't get up to a lot of crimes that are covered under the Republic's law.
Spig: They did come to my aid a bit though. I'm in here for selling Dust to separatists... and caviar to Mr. C.M.I.I. Daoibleagh.
[[Spig unfolds a little white dress.]] / Kel: Is that a crime? / Spig: It is if you know what he does with it.
[[Spig indicates Bonfire and Clydesdale.]] / Spig: I don't care though. I get a big kick out of smuggling. Now these two...
[[Spig speaks off-panel. Bonfire and Clydesdale wave.]] / Spig: Bonfire and Clydesdale, they like to rob and steal! They re-re-re-re-stole the Great Whopper of Carbunk*). / Bonfire: Hi. / {{*) The Great Whopper of Carbunk hasn't been kept in Carbunk for hundreds of years. Back in the days of the various elven species and clans fighting one another, the Whopper, a huge diamond in a shape that the inhabitants of Carbunk found amusingly suggestive, was stolen from the High Elven town of Carbunk by the Gnomes of the Plains. They lost it to the Gnomes of the Bog, who lost it to the High Elves of Wodeskog. From the High Elves of Wodeskog it was stolen by the faeries of Wodeskog, who didn't see anything amusing about the shape but knew an opportunity to annoy the High Elves when they saw one. From Wodeskog it was taken by a pack of wild Lutins after a raid. The Lutins traded it to C.M.I.I. Daoibleagh for a jar of his Special Spicy Spices, but before they could ask for it back, the Gnomes of the Bog managed to steal it back from mr. Daoibleagh. They then lost it to the Elves of the Earth. The Elves of the Earth had it stolen from them by a mixed-species party of urban drunks in the very early days of the Gnomian Republic, who succesfully fended off an attempt by a passing raven to carry it off but had the misfortune to cross the path of the Republic's most notorious thieves. / The Great Whopper is the subject of many many jokes which the faeries don't understand and the High Elves quite sensibly refuse to allow to be written down anywhere.}}
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Author Notes:

Reinder Dijkhuis 22nd Nov 2014, 4:30 AM edit delete
Reinder Dijkhuis
*) The Great Whopper of Carbunk hasn't been kept in Carbunk for hundreds of years. Back in the days of the various elven species and clans fighting one another, the Whopper, a huge diamond in a shape that the inhabitants of Carbunk found amusingly suggestive, was stolen from the High Elven town of Carbunk by the Gnomes of the Plains. They lost it to the Gnomes of the Bog, who lost it to the High Elves of Wodeskog. From the High Elves of Wodeskog it was stolen by the faeries of Wodeskog, who didn't see anything amusing about the shape but knew an opportunity to annoy the High Elves when they saw one. From Wodeskog it was taken by a pack of wild Lutins after a raid. The Lutins traded it to C.M.I.I. Daoibleagh for a jar of his Special Spicy Spices, but before they could ask for it back, the Gnomes of the Bog managed to steal it back from mr. Daoibleagh. They then lost it to the Elves of the Earth. The Elves of the Earth had it stolen from them by a mixed-species party of urban drunks in the very early days of the Gnomian Republic, who succesfully fended off an attempt by a passing raven to carry it off but had the misfortune to cross the path of the Republic's most notorious thieves.
The Great Whopper is the subject of many many jokes which the faeries don't understand and the High Elves quite sensibly refuse to allow to be written down anywhere.

Originally published on October 10, 2003.